Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many. Hebrews 12:15 NLT
“Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.” -Marianne Williamson
‘Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:14,17-21 NIV
TRUE JUSTICE IS PAYING ONLY ONCE FOR EACH MISTAKE. TRUE INJUSTICE IS PAYING MORE THAN ONCE FOR EACH MISTAKE.
1. HOW DO YOU RESPOND INWARDLY?
…For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45 NIV
‘Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Romans 8:5-7 NIV
- DO NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
HURT PEOPLE HURT PEOPLE
‘A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Ephesians 6:10-18 NLT
- DO NOT LET ASSUMPTIONS LEAD YOU
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. Proverbs 26:22 NIV
A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends. Proverbs 16:28 NIV
‘With their mouths the godless destroy their neighbors, but through knowledge the righteous escape. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:9,13 NIV
“Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it, I cannot be used by God for his purpose in the world.” -Oswald Chambers
to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24 ESV
2. HOW DO YOU RESPOND OUTWARDLY?
- TAKE THE INITIATIVE
THE REASON WE FEAR CONFRONTATION IS BECAUSE WE FEAR BEING EXPOSED AND BEING VULNERABLE.
He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” Genesis 3:10 NLT
FEAR WILL MAKE YOU DO AT LEAST 1 OF 3 THINGS…. GET DISTANT, GET DEFENSIVE, AND/OR GET DEMANDING.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7 NLT
- GO TO THE PERSON AND SPEAK IN LOVE
“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. Matthew 18:15-16 NLT
Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing. Proverbs 12:18 NLT
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NLT
GUIDELINES TO COMMUNICATING
- REMAIN CALM
- EXPRESS FEELINGS WITH WORDS NOT ACTIONS
- BE SPECIFIC WITH WHAT IS BOTHERING YOU
- DEAL WITH ONLY ONE ISSUE AT A TIME
- NO “HITTING BELOW THE BELT”
- AVOID CLAMMING UP
Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you. Ephesians 4:29 GNT